Thursday, May 31, 2012

Kim Trong and Kieu Say Goodbye

Đây là những dòng 529~572 trong Truyện Kiều Tôi đã tư dịch lấy bài thơ này trong tiếng Anh. Trong bài thơ này Kim Trong nói chuyện với Kiều và rằng anh ấy phải rời khỏi. Tôi muốn giảy thích tôi nghĩ về bài thơ này trong tiếng Việt nhưng tiếng Việt của tôi vẵn sáu quá. Tuy nhiên tôi có thể giải thích về tiếng Việt khó trong vậy. Ví dụ, theo quyển sách của tôi "Gin vàng giữ ngọc" là "Giữ gìn thân thể vàng ngọc" và "Ông tơ" là "Chỉ ông già giữ sợi tơ hồng buộc chân những người đã có số tiền định thành vợ chồng" và "Cữ gió tuần mưa" là "Người đi xa phải trải qua cữ gió này, tuần mưa khác. Bảy ngày là một cữ, mười ngày là một tuần." 

This scene in the Tale of Kieu depicts when Kim Trong, who is Kieu first true love, discovers that he must leave and take care of his recently passed uncle's remains. The whole journey will take at least three years. This is very traumatic for the couple since they have made marriage vows to each other but have not been able to fulfill them. 
There is a lot of nice language in this passage which I haven't done justice to in my English version. My comprehension of the Vietnamese is not good enough to really convey the same poetry. In this passage you can see the Confucian ideals of filial piety. I read before that some people read the Tale of Kieu as a critique on the Confucian ideals in Vietnamese society. This passage could attest to that.
At this point of the story Kieu has been having a pretty rosy and innocent time. Her love with Kim Trong is coming into full bloom but they are separated because of Kim Trong obligations to his family based on Confucian tradition. This is a pivotal part of the story and Kieu fortune turns from bad to worse. I don't want to ruin more of the story but this passage is only the beginning of a series of passages and plot twists in the story that demonstrate how Confucian orthodoxy heaps despair upon despair onto Kieu's life. 

Dòng 529~572
Cửa sài vừa ngỏ then hoa,
Gia đồng vừa gửi thư nhà mới sang.
Đem tin thúc phụ thừ đường,
Bơ vơ lữ thấn tha hương đề huề.
Liêu Dương cách trở sơn khê,
Xuân đường kíp gọi sinh về hộ tang.
Mảng tin xiết nỗi kinh hoàng,
Băng mình đến trước đài trang tự tình.
Gót đầu mọi nỗi đinh ninh,
Nỗi nhà tang tóc, nỗi mình xa xôi:
-"Sự đâu chưa kịp đôi hồi!
Duyên đâu chưa kịp một lời trao tơ!
Trăng thề còn đó trơ trơ,
Dám xa xôi mặt mà thưa thớt lòng.
Ngoài nghìn dặm chốc ba đông,
Mối sầu khi gỡ cho xong còn chầy.
Gìn vàng giữ ngọc cho hay,
Cho đành lòng kẻ chân mây cuối trời!"
Tai nghe ruột rối bời bời,
Ngập ngừng nàng mới giãi lời trước sau:
"Ông tơ ghét bỏ chi nhau!
Chưa vui sum họp đã sầu chia pôi.
Cùng nhau trót đã nặng lời,
Dẫu thay mái tóc dám rời lòng tơ.
Quản bao tháng đợi năm chờ,
Nghĩ người ăn gió nằm mưa xót thầm.
Đã nguyền hai chữ đồng tâm,
Trăm năm thề chẳng ôm cầm thuyền ai.
Còn non còn nước còn dài,
Còn về còn nhớ đến người hôm nay."
Dùng dằng chưa nỡ rời tay,
Vầng đông trông đã đứng ngay nóc nhà.
Ngại ngùng một bước một xa,
Một lời trân trọng châu sa mấy hàng,
Buôc yên, quảy gánh vội vàng,
Mối sầu sẻ nửa, bước đường chia hai.
Buồn trông phong cảnh quê người,
Đầu cành quyện nhặt, cuối trời nhạn thưa.
Não người cữ gió tuần mưa,
Một ngay nặng gánh tương tư một ngày.
Nàng còn đứng tựa hiên tây,
Chín hồi vấn vít như vầy mối tơ.
Trông chừng khói ngất song thưa,
Hoa trôi giạt thắm, liễu xơ xác vàng.

Trong tiếng Anh:
Lines 529~572
Just as the humble wooden gate unbolted
A young house boy entered and delivered a message.
The news read that Kim’s beloved uncle had passed away,
And his helpless body remained in a foreign land
Awaiting to be brought to its final resting place.
Kim was to traverse mountains and streams
To travel to distant Liao Yang,
Kim’s father urgently called on him to take the springtime roads and return to mourn.
Upon hearing this sudden news Kim was horrified,
He arrived at the house of his beloved to break the news as gently as he could.
He explained the deplorable situation from beginning to end,
He told her there was tragedy in his house
And so he must travel to a distant land:
“We have not the time to get to know each other well!
We made our marriage vows yet cannot see them through!
The everlasting moon witnessed our eternal pledge,
The great distance will prevent us from seeing each other face to face,
Yet our hearts will always be together.
We will be apart for three long winters,
It will take time to untangle the knots of grief in my chest.
You are precious to me, take care of yourself so that…
So that I can find some peace of mind at the worlds end.” Kim pleaded to Kieu.
Kieu heard every word and was shattered on the inside,
She hesitated and then tried to express her true feelings.
“Why does the god of marriage hate us?
Why did he not tie our fates together with his pink silk thread?
Before we could be happily united we have been tragically separated.
We, together swore a sacred oath,
Although my body may age, my heart will be forever young.
I don’t mind waiting months after months, years after years,
I will think of my love, lonely and exposed to the elements and grieve secretly.
Since we have both vowed in agreement,
I will never play my lute for another man’s pleasure.
Think of the permanence of the mountains, the everlasting sea.
Remember the person you see today…and come back.” Kieu replied.
They stayed hand and hand, without the heart to let go,
The sun rose high above them and illuminated the rooftops.
Each step felt like a great distance as he waveringly exited,
At each farewell and promise their tears fell like so many rows of pearls.
The horses were saddled and bags attached in haste,
They shared their grief once more,
And then the beckoning road divided it in two.
He was overwhelmed by sadness at the landscape of the foreign land,
The branches were dense with cuckoos, the geese called from the world’s end.
For those befallen with despair,
Heaven gives them a weary week of wind and a fortnight of rain.
One day he bears heavy responsibility upon his shoulders,
The next he is paralyzed with lovesickness.
She lingered, leaning against the western veranda,
Her mind going every which way like tangled yarn.
Through the window she mindlessly gazed at the scattered clouds of mist,
A dark withered rose, a yellowing haggard willow tree. 

Monday, May 28, 2012

Introduction

Since I've left Vietnam I've been slowly translating verses from the Tale of Kieu from the original Vietnamese poetry into English. I really like the Tale of Kieu and the significance it has in Vietnamese culture. I am going to write some more analysis later but for this first post I am putting up is what I have posted already on Facebook. For my translation, I work with two other English translations along with my own interpretation. Translating poetry is always difficult because of the metaphors and other poetic language. Nguyen Du also uses a consistent meter and rhyming scheme which is very difficult to demonstrate in an English translation. The first translation I use is one that I bought while I was living in Hanoi. It was translated by a British man called Michael Counsell. I like it because it includes the original Vietnamese along with his English version. He tried hard to make the English version have a similar poetic tone. It flows nicely but he did take a lot liberties with it. It seems to me that when you translate poetry that adheres to a strict meter then you can either try to keep the translation truer to the meter and rhyming scheme or the exact meaning of the verse but you have to be an exemplary poet to get both. I think Michael Counsell's translation is more on the side of the meter approach and it is very readable. I do find though that he excludes or alters some interesting metaphorical language for expediency's sake.
The other translation I refer to was done by Huynh Thong Sanh and I access it through this website
:http://www.hn-ams.org/forum/showthread.php?t=6653

His translation follows the line numbers exactly and is a much more direct translation. He didn't try to follow the meter or rhyming scheme as much but his lines are much closer to the original's in terms of meaning. I like using both of these translations because they balance each other out and are good references for me.
So far I haven't tried to match up with the rhyme scheme or meter. I am not much of a poet so it might not read as nicely as more seasoned translators but I'm just trying to get my foot in the door. Also as you can see I have only translated small sections of the work. I read through both English versions and I chose the verses that I thought were especially interesting. Like any work of long poetry; there are peaks of poetic greatness but are necessarily surrounded by more "filler" poetry to convey the plot of the story. Now I'm going to show what I've done so far and then I will update with some analysis and more translations later. I appreciate any feedback :)

Người Việt Nam oi! Truyện Kiều rất khó dịch bởi vì tôi không phải là người Việt Nam. Khi tôi đã sóng ở Việt Nam thì tôi học truyện Kiều với bạn bè người Việt Nam của tôi nhưng tôi không biết nhiều người Việt Nam ở Mỹ. Bây giờ tôi một mình tư dịch lấy vậy. Đây khó quá. Tôi cần bạn giúp tôi. Cảm ơn :)


Truyện Kiều:

 363-368
Từ phen đá biết tuổi vàng,
Tình càng thấm thía, dạ càng ngẩn ngơ.
Sông Tương một dải nông sờ,
Bên Trong nọ, bên chơ cuối kia.
Một tường tuyết trở sương che,
Tin xuân đâu dễ đi về cho năng.

363~368
From then on, like the touchstone revealing pure gold,
Their love grew richer, yet they felt more sadness by the day.
Like the tale of Xiang River, where two lovers suffered,
And waited for each other, one upstream and one downstream,
The wall separating Kim Trong and Kieu blocked the passage of their notes of love
Like tall, snowy mountains that even if the snows melted in spring, would be impassable.

393~396
Mặt nhìn mặt, càng thêm tươi;
Bên lời vạn phúc, bên lời hàn huyên.
Sánh vai về chốn thư hiên,
Góp lời phong nguyệt, năng nguyền non sông.

393~396
They gazed into each other’s eyes, their happiness ever increasing,
Their vows brought them bliss they could not have imagined,
Their vows warmed their souls and cooled their tempers,
Side by side they returned to the study room,
The devotion they felt for each other weighed heavy like their oath to their homeland.

409~418
Nàng rằng: -"Trộm liếc dung quang,
Chẳng sân Ngọc Bội, cũng phường Kim Nôn.
Nghĩ mình phận mỏng cánh chuồn,
Khuôn xanh biết có vuông tròn mà hay?
Nhớ từ năm hãy thơ ngây,
Có người tướng sĩ đoán ngay một lời:
"Anh hoa phát tiết ra ngoài,
Nghìn thu bạc mệnh một đời tài hoa.
Trông người lại ngâm đến ta,
Một dày một mỏng biết là có nên?"

409~418
“When I first stole a glance of your handsome face,” Kieu said,
“It was clear you would work with those dressed in jade,
Dwell in the kingly chambers, but as for me,
My fate is as fragile as a dragonfly’s wings.
Will heaven allow our vows to come to fruition or not?
I remember a time from my childhood,
I met a seer who told me my fortune:
‘Your inner beauty will enlighten the world like an eternal spring,
Yet heaven will cast a thousand autumns worth of misfortune upon you,
Thus is the poetic life.’
I look at your bright destiny and then reflect upon myself,
Can we expect fortune to know what we deserve?”

437~440
Tiếng sen sẽ động giấc hòe,
Bóng trăng đã xế hoa lê lại gần.
Bâng khuâng đỉnh Giáp non Thần.
Còn ngờ giác mộng đêm xuân mơ Thần.

437~440
Although Kieu’s soft steps were as light as a lotus petal
Kim awakened from his princely dreams,
And the pair was illuminated by the soft, pale light of the waning moon.
Kim retained the vague feeling of dwelling at the peak of a divine mountain.
He still believed he was lost in a spring night’s dream.

 493~496
Rằng:-"Quen mất nết đi rồi,
Tẻ vui thôi cũng tính trời biết sao!
Lời vàng vâng lĩnh ý cao,
Họa dần dần, bớt chút được không."

493~496
“I am well aware our fate is out of our control,
Heaven alone knows why some are blessed with happiness
And others cursed with sadness.